Lend Jokes

What did the poor composer say to his friend?

I am baroque, can you lend me some money?

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What is the best way to lose money?

Lend it to Greece.

What do you call it when you lend money to a bison?

A Buffa-Loan!

What did Mark Antony say to Van Gogh?

Lend me your ears

What did the pope give up for lent?

His job.

Why shouldn't you lend a anthropologist money?

They consider a million years ago to be Recent.

Why should you always refuse to lend an Ape money?

It's dangerous to let him put the bite on you!

Why wouldn't the frog lend his hammer to the mushroom?

Because it's a toad's tool.

Why can the Cornish always lend a hand?

They probably have a spare.

Who's there! Celeste! Celeste who?

Celeste time I lend you money!

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Bite Jokes More Bite Jokes

What is it?

It has legs, but doesn't walk, beak, but it doesn't bite and wings, but it doesn't fly. What is it? -A dead crow

What do you do if you get bit by something poisonous?

Don't bite it back in retaliation.

Refuse Jokes More Refuse Jokes

What do people who refuse to fight use as weapons?

Their pacifists

Why do Vampires make poor project managers?

Because the refuse you to meet with stake holders. (why yes, I am a dad why do you ask)

Frog Jokes More Frog Jokes

What happened to the frog who parked illegally?

He got toad

What do you call a frog that's parked illegally?

Toad.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What method did SFML perform when the Human lost to the AI?

Text.GetRect()

What is the best way to get called a,"genius?

By losing a billion dollars in business.

Greece Jokes More Greece Jokes

What country does fried fish swim in?

Greece! (courtesy of my ten year old)

What's the difference between Greece and a good software application?

Greece doesn't have default settings!

Consider Jokes More Consider Jokes

What political ideology does Hades consider himself to be apart of?

Plutocracy

What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?

Any place without a drive-up window.

Ear Jokes More Ear Jokes

What does it cost for a pirate to get his ear pierced?

A buck-an-ear

Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?

Because he liked sole music!

Hammer Jokes More Hammer Jokes

How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it one to hammer it in.

What's grey and bad for your teeth?

A hammer.