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Lend Jokes

What did the poor composer say to his friend?

I am baroque, can you lend me some money?

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What is the best way to lose money?

Lend it to Greece.

What do you call it when you lend money to a bison?

A Buffa-Loan!

What did the pope give up for lent?

His job.

Why shouldn't you lend a anthropologist money?

They consider a million years ago to be Recent.

Why should you always refuse to lend an Ape money?

It's dangerous to let him put the bite on you!

Why wouldn't the frog lend his hammer to the mushroom?

Because it's a toad's tool.

Why can the Cornish always lend a hand?

They probably have a spare.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What do you call an elf who lost all his toys?

Legolas

What did the starfish say when it realized that it lost it's ability to regenerate limbs?

I can't remember.

Mark Antony Jokes More Mark Antony Jokes

Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?

He wanted Mark Antony!

Bite Jokes More Bite Jokes

What do you call a Nun that bites her nails?

A bad Habit.

Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple?

Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.

Ape Jokes More Ape Jokes

When an ape visits his tailor what kind of a suit does he order?

A zoo-t suit!

What do you call an Ape cooking a BBQ?

A Gorilla

Refuse Jokes More Refuse Jokes

Why did former Alabama governor George Wallace fail high school calculus?

He refused to integrate.

Why did the feminist refuse to work at the post office?

Because it was a mail dominated industry

Frog Jokes More Frog Jokes

What's the difference between a frog?

One leg's both the same.

What do you get when you cross a frog and a rabbit?

A rabbit that says "Ribbit."

Consider Jokes More Consider Jokes

What does a man consider to be a seven course meal?

A hot dog and a six pack.

Why wasn't the man considered attractive?

The laws of gravity didn't apply to him.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What My Friend Said Once They Discovered The Existence of Gravitational Waves?

Friend: Good, now they will make microwaves that cook my chicken fingers faster. Say what now

What did Little Bo Peep say to Woody when she got caught screwing Buzz?

You got a friend in me.