Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?

He wanted Mark Antony!

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Why did the rich guy crash his car?

He wanted to see how the Mercedes bends

What did the yoga teacher say when someone asked if she wanted to leave the party early?

Namaste

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How did SkyMall go bankrupt?

I bought all my wife's birthday presents there before she left me.

What do you call a law enforcement agency that refuses to buy it's own vehicles?

The pro-lease department

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What's the biggest difference between a crayon and your ex?

The crayon is non-toxic!

What do you call a crayon without any wax?

A crayoff

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What did Julius Caesar ask when finding a color to paint the Senate?

Ecru, Brute

What did Jennifer Lawrence say to Julius Caesar?

May the Ides be ever in your favor.

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Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?

He wanted Mark Antony!