Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?

He wanted Mark Antony!

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but the light bulb has to *want* to be screwed in.

Why did the groom want his bride to wear white?

He wanted his new dish washer to match his fridge.

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Why do people keep buying velcro?

It's such a ripoff.

How does Moses get his coffee?

He buys it from Starbucks...

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What Color Is It?

In case you hadn't noticed, the color of the wind is 'blew.' Water always looks 'wet' to me. Dirt is oviously 'dirty.' Soup seems 'soupy.' If you can't find those Crayons in your box, contact CRAYOLA.

What's the biggest difference between a crayon and your ex?

The crayon is non-toxic!

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What did Julius Caesar say after taking Cleopatra's virginity?

Veni, Vidi... Veni.

What's the difference between Julius Caesar and Genghis Khan?

Caesar: "I came, I saw, I conquered." Khan: "I conquered, I saw, I came."

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Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?

He wanted Mark Antony!

What did Mark Antony say to Van Gogh?

Lend me your ears