Crayon Jokes

How are crayons like people?

The white ones are usually pretty pointless

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What do you call a crayon without any wax?

A crayoff

What's the biggest difference between a crayon and your ex?

The crayon is non-toxic!

What is blue, green, red, yellow, purple, orange, black, brown, and gray?

A box of crayons.

What's an artist's favorite fruit?

Crayon-berries Sorry

Why did the crayon want to be a phone?

Because it wanted to be a texta.

How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity?

Her crayons are still sticky.

Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?

He wanted Mark Antony!

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Blow Jokes More Blow Jokes

Why did the angry skeptic keep ignoring official reports about the eventual release of Half-Life 3?

He was blowing off Steam

Why are MMA fighters told not to blow their nose when in a fight?

Oops, this was supposed to be for. There's no punch line!

Monster Jokes More Monster Jokes

What's the difference between a biscuit and a monster?

You can dip a biscuit in your tea but a monster is too big to fit in the cup.

What side of a monster has more hair?

The outside!

Virginity Jokes More Virginity Jokes

What does an Eskimo girl say before she is about to lose her virginity?

Careful Dad, don't squish my smokes.

What did the Mississippi girl say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me Daddy you're crushin' my cigarettes.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth?

A1: You need a quarter to use the phone.

What did the phone say to the other phone after a bad rejection?

If you like it then you shudda put a ringtone on it.

Box Jokes More Box Jokes

Which is better a stool or a box to stand on?

You stand on a stool, though I prefer the ladder

What's the healthiest sport a pregnant women can play?

Kick boxing

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What's black &amp grey and also looks good on a cop?

The World Trade Center

What's his last name?

Oh, uh- *looks at pic* Squarepants

Hide Jokes More Hide Jokes

How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?

One.

Why do elephants hide behind trees?

To trip ants.

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

What can walk over the water, but can travel under the water without getting wet?

Jesus in a submarine.

How can you tell an ant is a boy or girl?

Throw it in water If it sinks = girl ant If it floats = buoyant