What do Abraham Lincoln and an '80s sitcom have in common?

Both were shot before a live audience.

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What's the difference between a Canadian and an American?

Canadian knows the difference between a school and a shooting range.

What do you do when you see your neighbour staggering in the back yard?

Shoot him again.

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What do you call your favorite 80's pop star floating dead in the harbor?

David Buoy

What did the Frenchman say after 80?

Blaze it.

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What did Abraham Lincoln say after recovering from a 3-day drinking binge?

I set* ***who*** *free "*

Why didn't the cops ever charge Abraham Lincoln?

Because he was always in a cent.