What do Jesus and my high school girlfriend have in common?

They both bled for me.

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Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and his portrait?

His portrait only need one nail

Why doesn't Jesus Play Hockey???

Because he doesn't want to be nailed to the boards.

Bleed Jokes More Bleed Jokes

What can guys call it?

How about bleeding white

What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot?

Half a cat.