What do Jesus and my high school girlfriend have in common?

They both bled for me.

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Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What do 12 year old mexican girls and born-again christians have in common?

They both have a little Jesus in 'em...

How did the Chinese atheist get to heaven?

Jesus said to him "Behold! I am risen!" and he said "That's nice I don't bereave you."

Bleed Jokes More Bleed Jokes

Why can't you trust girls?

Because you can't trust something that bleeds for days and doesn't die.

What do you call a confederate that's bleeding out?

A rebel without a gauze