What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?

This one will sleigh you!

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How can you tell that the movie Martian is not realistic?

Because Americans use imperial unit system.

What to you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant?

An animal that tells you everything that it remembers!

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Why don't people tell jokes about the Reverend Jim Jones?

The punchline is too long.

What's a joke that you invented?

Here's mine: Did you hear about the guy who had to snort a line of baking soda every day? He was basically addicted.

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How many reindeers does Santa Claus have?

Santa Claus has 10 reindeers according to the song.

What reindeer can jump higher than a house?

They all can! Houses can't jump!

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Why doesn't Santa hitch his sleigh to a pig?

Pigs don't have red noses.

What does Santa do to dragons?

He "sleighs" them.