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What do you call a bottle of seltzer that lost all its bubbles?

Water...

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What's the fastest way to lose a few pounds?

Exit the European Union.

Why did the elk cry at the funeral?

He had lost a deer friend

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

What did the sea-world trainer's friend say to him after he spilled water on his friends lap?

You did that on porpoise

Why did the crowd watch the man futily attempt to blend oil and water for hours on end?

It was unmiscible.

Bottle Jokes More Bottle Jokes

What do you have when you got a bag of weed and a bottle of Jack Daniel's?

Jackpot!

What did the bottle of milk say to the Mexican?

Soy milk.

Bubble Jokes More Bubble Jokes

How about a dirty one as well?

Want to hear a clean joke? Bob took a bath. With Bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? (Punchline hidden so you don't accidentally read)

Why aren't you smiling?

My go-to answer is always "My yeast infection really is bubbling up."