What do you get when you hold two green balls tightly in your hand?

A leprachaun's undivided attention.

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

Why is Man Utd's chemistry lacking?

Because they are held together by weak van den Gaal's forces.

How many dwarves does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two one to hold the bulb and the other to serve him beer until the room starts spinning.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How many of you believe in psychokinesis?

Raise my hand. - Taken from local Chinese joint fortune cookie.

What are the pros and cons of wearing two watches?

On one hand, you have a watch... But on the other hand, you have a watch.