What do you get when you hold two green balls tightly in your hand?

A leprachaun's undivided attention.

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What happened when the barman died?

The police held an inn-quest

What military rank do you hold while using a pay toilet?

Lieutenant

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do hand grenades and wives have in common?

Remove the ring and your house is gone.

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.