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What do you get when you watch a lumberjack chop down a tree?

Bored.

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Where would an eccentric beverage go if it wanted to watch married couples fight and read high quality humor columns?

To the Drink Quirks Wed Fight.

What type of movie does a blind person watch?

Black and black movies.

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Why could the French man not count to four?

He could not get past the tree!

What is your line of business?

Me mumbling: Treason stuff. Cop: Louder for the microphone. Me: Trees 'n' stuff. Gardening.

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What is a pirate's favorite drink?

The HI-C! (punchline must be said in proper pirate voice) (this is what I do when bored at work not even ashamed)

What happened when porky pig fell asleep at his construction job?

The foreman fired him, saying, 'We can't have bored boars boring boards.'

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What do you get when you watch a lumberjack chop down a tree?

Bored.

Where does Darth Vader go shopping?

The Darth mall! haha, funny joke.