What do you tell your wife with two black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

This joke may have profanity.
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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you want your husbands gravestone to say?

Wife: "Nothing. I want a traditional, non-talking one."

What did the musician say to his wife when he went out to the supermarket?

I'm going Chopin, I'll be Bach in a minuet.

Black Eye Jokes More Black Eye Jokes

What do you tell a woman with a black eye?

Nothing, she's already been told twice.

What do you tell a women with a black eye?

Nothing, you already told her once.