What do you tell your wife with two black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

This joke may have profanity.
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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

About 60 pounds.

Who was that lady I saw you with last night?

The Canadian says "That was my wife."

Black Eye Jokes More Black Eye Jokes

What do you say to a woman with a black eye?

Nothing. She's already been told.

What do you tell a women with a black eye?

Nothing, you already told her once.