What do you tell your wife with two black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

This joke may have profanity.
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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the difference between wife and a blue whale?

About 10 pounds.

Why are gifts in airports so expensive?

God's punishing you for waiting until the flight home to buy your wife a gift.

Black Eye Jokes More Black Eye Jokes

What do you say to a girl with a black eye?

Nothing. You already told her.

What do you say to a woman with one black eye?

Nothing, you've already told her.