What do you tell your wife with two black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

This joke may have profanity.
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What is it that you are both most fearful of?

WIFE: I just...sobbing...don't want the kids to suffer ME: Eels

How do you know when you're turning 40?

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Black Eye Jokes More Black Eye Jokes

What do you say to a woman with one black eye?

Nothing, you've already told her.

Where'd you get that black eye?

Me: My girlfriend gave it to me. Him: I thought your girlfriend was out of town. Me: I did too...