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What does a drunk police officer do?

Protect and swerve.

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Protect Jokes More Protect Jokes

What do police and my laundry detergent not have in common?

One protects all colors.

How do you protect a valuable instrument?

Hide it in an accordion case.

Swerve Jokes More Swerve Jokes

How do you know when you're too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener

What kind of vehicle swerved to miss a talking lizard in the road?

Dodged-a-Rango