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What does a drunk police officer do?

Protect and swerve.

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Protect Jokes More Protect Jokes

How do you protect yourself from ghosts?

Hide in the living room.

What's a man?

Dad: A man is who loves unconditionally, cares about you and protects you. Kid: When i grow up, I'll be a man like mom

Swerve Jokes More Swerve Jokes

How do you know when you're too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener

What kind of vehicle swerved to miss a talking lizard in the road?

Dodged-a-Rango