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What does Garry Newman want to be when he grows up?

Garry Oldman.

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Why did the leper chase the leopard?

Because she wanted the D. (I dreamed this joke last night. Not bad for a dream joke.)

Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?

Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.

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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them

How do you know if someone grew up in New York City?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.