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What is hard and six inches long?

My pen is

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Inch Jokes More Inch Jokes

What is six inches long, has a bald head, and drives blondes crazy?

A hundred dollar bill.

What do you do if someone's choking?

Pull back a few inches

Pen Jokes More Pen Jokes

What type of pen does Lance Armstrong use?

Uniball.

Where do bad pigs go?

They get sent to the pen.