How do you measure a snake?

In inches. Snakes don't have any feet.

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Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

What does the Jolly Green Giant have on his feet?

Pota-TOES!

Why did the short guy lose the basketball game?

Because he four feet.

Snake Jokes More Snake Jokes

What do you get if you cross a snake and a lego set?

A boa constructor!

What kind of snake is it good to have on a car?

Windshield vipers.

Measure Jokes More Measure Jokes

Why are you prodding me with that ruler?

Im measuring your patience

What do South American governments and internal combustion engines have in common?

Both are measured in revolutions per minute.

Inch Jokes More Inch Jokes

What's the difference between 'Oh' and 'Oooh'?

About three inches

What is white and twelve inches long?

Nothing