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How do you measure a snake?

In inches. Snakes don't have any feet.

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Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

What does a pirate call three feet?

A YAAAARRRRGGGG!! Oh look a door.

Why do legs have to be at least 25 inches long?

They're over two feet

Snake Jokes More Snake Jokes

What kind of snake is good at building things?

A boa constructor.

Why was the snake soft?

He had reptile dysfunction.

Measure Jokes More Measure Jokes

What's the biggest fish you ever caught?

That would be the one that measured fourteen inches...." "That's not so big!" "Between the eyes "

What do South American governments and internal combustion engines have in common?

Both are measured in revolutions per minute.

Inch Jokes More Inch Jokes

What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long has a head on it and that women love so much that they often blow it?

A $20 bill

What do the average woman and kids on a snow day have in common?

They're both hoping for nine inches, but will be happy enough with five.