What is your favorite thing the new iPhone can do?

Mine is distract me from my own mortality

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Why are the new iPhones so skinny?

To match their hipster owners' jeans.

What do you call fans of the new iPhone 7?

Pod people.

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What is your favorite thing the new iPhone can do?

Mine is distract me from my own mortality

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What if the Government invented cheese to distract us from reality?

Gets arrested*

What is your favorite thing the new iPhone can do?

Mine is distract me from my own mortality