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What makes a glow worm glow?

A light meal!

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How many nuclear war survivors does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. People who glow in the dark don't need lightbulbs.

How's the wife?

Me:Glowing Neighbour:Pregnant Me:No, she's on fire, just going for more wood Neighbour:You're sick Me:You're next

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What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?

Light ale!

Why was the glow worm unhappy?

Because her children weren't that bright!