What runs, but never sprints?

Inherited obesity

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Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What did the lumberjack say to the trees?

Run, Forest, run!

Why do pigs run from medicine?

They hate getting cured.

Sprint Jokes More Sprint Jokes

What did the man with Verizon say to the woman with Sprint?

You better Sprint on over to the Verizon store.

What's the proper procedure when witnessing someone having a seizure in a bathtub?

Sprint to your room, grab all the dirty clothes you can, and start saving money on laundry.