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What runs, but never sprints?

Inherited obesity

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Run Jokes More Run Jokes

How do you get a Criminal to stop running?

Play the national anthem

How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?

They'll tell you

Sprint Jokes More Sprint Jokes

What's a Russian's favorite service provider?

Sprint.

Why did Holden Caulfield hate his job at Sprint?

He was surrounded by phone-ys!