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What's been in the works for 7000 days and has barely made any progress?

Me

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why do churches ban Wifi Networks?

Because they don't want to compete with an invisible connection that actually works.

Why Was The Canvas Maker Late Home From Work?

He had to close a sail

Progress Jokes More Progress Jokes

What can you say to your trainer that will compliment then on your progress and also be wildly inappropriate?

You make me hard

What is the opposite of progress?

Colgatereally)Congress.