Progress Jokes

What's the opposite of progress?

Congress.

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What do you call a lamppost in Niger?

Progress.

What is the opposite of progress?

Colgatereally)Congress.

What's the opposite of pro?

Con. So what's the opposite of progress

What can you say to your trainer that will compliment then on your progress and also be wildly inappropriate?

You make me hard

What is the opposite of pro?

Con. What is the opposite of progress Congress.

What's been in the works for 7000 days and has barely made any progress?

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do witches use pencil sharpeners for?

To keep their hats pointed.

What hand do you wipe with?

Left or right Response: why not use toilet paper

G Jokes More G Jokes

What's the capital of Greece?

The G

Why did the skeletons start dancing?

Because they forgot the g in graveyard.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a Stormtrooper and a Zoo Keeper?

The Storm Trooper would have missed harambe

What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods?

Santa stops at 3 ho's.

Con Jokes More Con Jokes

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

Who's there! Con! Con who?

Con unhinged!

Transylvania Jokes More Transylvania Jokes

Which state has the most progressive bathroom laws?

Transylvania.

Who has the most dangerous job in Transylvania?

Dracula's dentist.

Insurance Company Jokes More Insurance Company Jokes

What do you get when you mix an insurance company with an NFL quarterback?

An Aflacco

What did the insurance company say to the applicant?

THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM!

Bernie Sanders Jokes More Bernie Sanders Jokes

Which is Bernie Sanders' dominant hand?

His left one

Why did Bernie Sanders cross the road?

He didn't, he was distributed evenly on both sides. Bernie supporters, please don't downvote me to hell, it's just a joke

Song Jokes More Song Jokes

What did Goku say when he heard his wife listening to the song, "Fancy"?

Aye, Chi-Chi, Why?

What song do burgers sing on the job?

Gristle While You Work!