Compliment Jokes

How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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How do you compliment a girl with a cold sore?

You tell her that her smile is contagious.

How do you compliment a pickle rapper's verse?

That was dill!

Why are Bananas and Chocolate Good friends?

They compliment each other nicely.

What do white girls and web developers have in common?

Nobody ever compliments our back end

How you compliment an Italian cheese maker?

Gouda worka

How do you compliment a scarecrow?

Tell him he's outstanding in his field!

What do elephants say as a compliment?

You look elephantastic!

Why are you so happy?

Girl2: I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said "Parking Fine"

What did the host say after her guest complimented her on her tea?

Thanks, it's my special tea.

Why did the global warming activist compliment the earth?

Cause it looked hotter than usual!

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What phrase is a compliment in America, but an argument in the Middle East?

No, YOU the bomb.

Why was the binary number so happy?

Because of two's compliment!

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High Form Jokes More High Form Jokes

What's the highest form of flattery?

Summitery.

What is the highest form of flattery?

A plateau

Smile Jokes More Smile Jokes

Why is everyone smiling at me today?

Checks fly* *no pants* Aaaah.

Why do blondes smile when it's lightning?

A. Because, they think they are having their picture taken.

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What did the pirate say after his successful pillage?

Thanks for the gold kind stranger!

What did the man in the wheelchair say when he returned the hat he borrowed?

Thanks for the handy cap.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What is a terrorists favourite food?

Anything Allah-cart. I found it funny. I was exploding with laughter.

What did Wilford Brimley say to his wife when he found out she was pregnant?

You have diafetus

Friend Zone Jokes More Friend Zone Jokes

Where do the good guys go?

The friend zone...

How many guys in the friend zone does it take to light a light bulb?

None, they just stand around complimenting it, and get mad when it won't screw.

Middle East Jokes More Middle East Jokes

How Did I Make It To The Middle East?

Iran there.

Why do people regard the middle east as the holy land?

Because they're constantly drilling for oil.

Receive Jokes More Receive Jokes

Why did the scarecrow receive a prize?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

What did the late arriving cannibal receive at the dinner party?

The cold shoulder.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What does A&W stand for?

Amburgers & Woot Beer! Edit: Thanks to my dad for this one.

What does the 'H' in Jesus 'H' Christ stand for?

Haploid