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What's black and hanging from a tree in my backyard right now?

A black berry.

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Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

Why do all the ladies love Jesus?

Spreads out arms to fullest length) Because he was hung like this.

What is your location?

Me: And you're to blame 911: Pardon Me: You give love a bad name 911: I'm hanging up

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

Why did the sheriff arrest the tree?

Because its leaves rustled.

What did the flower say about the tree heading to the sky?

He's on route.

Backyard Jokes More Backyard Jokes

What do you do if you see your stepmother hobbling around in the backyard?

Reload.

What does Snoop Dogg keep in his backyard?

His garden hoes.