What's the difference between Canadians and Americans?

100 pounds.

This joke may have profanity.

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What's the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond?

Eventually the savings bond will mature and begin to earn money.

What's the difference between a drummer in a rock'n'roll band and an extra large pizza?

The extra large pizza can feed a family of four.

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What did the American call Karl Marx when a shrine was dedicated to him in Japan?

A Kami.

What do Americans call the summer holidays?

Ceasefire

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What brand of vodka does a Canadian drink?

Grey Moose

How did the bad Canadian fisherman describe his only catch of the day?

Aboot this big.