What's the major cause of divorce?

Once is not enough.

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When a cop pulls you over and asks, "Papers?

Answer "Scissors." then drive away..

Why did Beethoven never answer the doorbell?

They weren't invented yet.

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What do a hurricane a tornado a fire and a divorce have in common?

They are four ways you can lose your house!

What do a hurricane and a divorce in Virginia have in common?

Screaming, crying, and somebody loses a trailer!