What gas leaves a pirate speechless?

Argon

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Why did the Ogre cry when he left the doctor's office?

He was diagnosed with shrecktal cancer.

How do you stop ISIS?

Leave some milk in the sun for a few days.

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Why didn't kids make fun of argon in high school?

They never got a reaction out of him.

What happened to all the funny chemistry puns?

They Argon...

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Where does the dentist get his gas?

At the filling station

How many states of matter are there?

5: solids, liquids, gases, plasma, and black lives