Gas Jokes

What has 10 letters and starts with gas?

Automobile.

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What gas is best dressed at a dinner party?

Formaldehyde

What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?

He went to the Shell station.

Why was the laser sad?

All his gas is Argon.

What does a virus call a cluster of stars and gas?

Nebola

What has ten letters and starts with gas?

Flatulence

What gas do snails prefer?

Shell.

What do cars and humans have in common?

We both burn gas.

Who's there! Cargo! Cargo who?

Cargo better if you fill it with gas first!

What's the difference between driving a car on an empty tank of gas and having diarrhea?

One you're running on fumes, the other you're fuming with the runs.

What gas leaves a pirate speechless?

Argon

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How many states of matter are there?

5: solids, liquids, gases, plasma, and black lives

What sort of a car has your dad got?

I can't remember the name. I think it starts with T. Really - Ours only starts with gas.

What country most despises cars that run on gasoline?

Mad-at-gas-cars!

What do you call gas from the human body that NASA could impliment into fuel for their technology in the future?

Rocket Farts.

Where does the dentist get his gas?

At the filling station

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Why was Hillary thrown out of a restaurant?

She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed.

What did Lil' Jon do when Home Depot employee tried to sell him a lightbulb?

Turned down 4 watt

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What do you call a cute little animal you keep in your automobile?

A carpet.

What ten letter word starts with g-a-s?

Automobile.

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Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

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What do you call a family that runs a gas station?

Pump kin.

Why was a happy couple weary to kiss at the gas station?

They were scared of sparks flying.

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What's the purpose of Barry Chuckle's job at British Gas?

To meter you.

What do you tell someone who feels that life has shorted them from a purpose or calling?

You belong.

Surrender Jokes More Surrender Jokes

Which element is most likely to surrender an electron?

Francium.

What does surrender mean?

I said, "I give up."