Because a wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.
He had a staff infection...
Because he was no conjurer of Cheap Trick
So people do not take him as a conjurer of cheap tricks.
Methrandir
The White Wizzer
A wizard is never late.
Because other cars have Mordor.
Because he has a magical staff.
Syrian Mckellen
Because he doesn't want to be taken as a conjurer of cheap tricks.
He didn't want to see the salad dressing.
Want to go out with me and Di tonight?
Sticker on her car. Her phone hasn't stopped ringing since.
B-room service.
Solid, gas, liquid and Black Lives.
Mad-at-gas-cars!
Why don't you google it?
ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*
One does not simply walk into Mordor
Points mic at me* ME: having briefly heard the song once before...squirrels
Put em' to work!... On a gospel record.
Teacher: What is the difference between lightning and electricity? Alexander: I know you do not have to pay for lightning.
Hell-if-i-know (my grandma's favorite joke)
