Why is Gandalf so good in bed?

Because a wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.

This joke may have profanity.
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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why is a restless man in bed like a lawyer?

Because he lies on one side and then turns around and lies on the other one.

Why did the man run around his bed?

Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!

Gandalf Jokes More Gandalf Jokes

Why does Gandalf never dress as a pimp for Halloween?

Because he doesn't want to be taken as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

Why did Gandalf have to go to the hospital to get a splinter removed?

He had a staff infection...

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Why do wizards clean their teeth three times a day?

To prevent bat breath!

Why did the wizards wife have hickeys on her neck?

Because he was a neck-romancer....

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What did the cannibal get when he arrived late for dinner?

The cold shoulder!

What did the Ohioan Satanist say when he arrived to cult?

Ohio Satan!

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What do you get when you put birthday candles on a pizza?

You can't figure it out I mean, it's a pizz'a cake.

What is 0.1 as a fraction?

One tenth " Good, now what does 10% mean "Battery low, plug in your phone " Perfect