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What's your emer- She said don't get her anything for Valentine's Day! 911: And you didn't?

No! 911: Placing you in protective custody.

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911 Jokes More 911 Jokes

What is the difference between 9/11 and landscaping?

Landscaping is an outside job.

What's the difference between a cow and 911?

You stop milking a cow after 14 years..

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

What's black and all over the place?

Michael J Fox's signature.

What's the difference between Helen Keller and Susan B. Anthony?

One doesn't know her place, the other can't find it.

Valentine Day Jokes More Valentine Day Jokes

What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day?

Rugs and kisses!

What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's Day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?

Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*