What did the physicist say to the two women he was trying to pick up at the bar?

Do you ladies wanna go back to my place and conduct a double slit experiment?

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What do bad dancers have in common with Michael J Fox trying to use the soft serve ice cream machine?

They both have a hard time pulling off a twist.

Why did the cannibal get banned from the hospital?

He kept trying the doctors patients(patience)

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why do men, on average, die before women?

Because they want to.

What quality does Elon Musk look for in a woman?

He just wants her to be down to Mars

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

What's the best thing about picking up a homeless chick?

It doesn't matter where you drop them off.

What is Tony Romo's favorite lottery game?

Pick Six

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

Why was christopher never in the same place?

Because he's always Walken

What do you call the place where parrots make films?

Pollywood!

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What's a rabbi's favorite type of bar?

It's sure as hell not a bar-mitzvah, those things are expensive.

What kind of bar do fish go to?

A sand bar.

Physicist Jokes More Physicist Jokes

What did the physicist say to the man about to jump off a building?

Don't do it! You have so much potential!

What is 1 + 1"?

The mathematician says "2" The Physicist says "2, plus or minus 0.1" The engineer says "Probably around 2, but let's say 3 to be on the safe side".

Lady Jokes More Lady Jokes

Why did the lady stare at the orange juice?

Because she thought it was telling her to concentrate!

Who was that lady I saw you with last night?

The Canadian says "That was my wife."

Conduct Jokes More Conduct Jokes

How does Ohm conduct an orchestra?

Standing on his head!

How do u know if a company that just hired you conducts drug tests?

What is the likelihood it will be a hairtest