What would Valve call the next world war?

A Global Offensive.

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How do you get Americans to join a World War?

Tell them it's nearly finished.

Who should we vote for the next president?

Gabe Newell. There will never be a World War 3.

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What's the difference between Valve and uranium?

Uranium gets to its half-life on time.

Why does VALVE end with 2?

Because they can't count to