What would Valve call the next world war?

A Global Offensive.

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What did the poles do during world war two?

They held the telephone wires off the ground.

Why did Europe start the first World War?

They did't like being sans-Ferdinand.

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What did GabeN tell his wife when she shouted "shut your hole" at him?

Babe, it's a valve!

What Counting system does Valve use?

Trinary