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What would you find on a German fire truck?

Ladder-hosen

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What do you call a dictatorship founded on the principles of Ethos, Logos & Pathos?

An Aristotalitarian Regime.

Why couldn't Bing start a fire?

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What did the German physicist use to drink his beer?

Ein stein. - From Big Nate, as told by my kid.

How many elves does a German santa have?

Elf.