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Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables?

In an American nursing home.

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What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?

An ingestigation

Why couldn't the t-rex find a mate?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction.

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What did one dead American cop say to the other dead American cop?

Waaazzzzzzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappppppp.

What is the best way to pick up American girls?

With a crane.