Anxiety in 3...2...1... knock, knock *sigh* "WAIT A SECOND!" *mumbles* "I need to find pants."
A. Lesbi-hens
Nothing. They just waved.
Where you left them.
He just couldn't find the guys angle!
Jesus in a submarine.
Audi
It's so inconsiderate! Good thing I was still up playing my bagpipes.
One. They're used to having their lights knocked out.That joke turned dark fast. I'll see myself to my respective corner.
ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*
Me: So your mom doesn't have to borrow the car
Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
You only need one nail to hang up the picture.
1. wets toothbrush 2. puts toothpaste on toothbrush 3. wets toothbrush again 4. does backflip on to huge pile of money
June, July, and August.
Two. One to do it, a second to keep yelling, "You're lookin' BIG, man!"
2. What do you call his first victim 3. What do you call his second victim 1. Bernie 2. Crispin 3. Ash
A fart. It goes through your pants without even making a hole.
She peed her pants (read out loud)
She waits until midnight and plugs it back in. Disclaimer: I know it's terrible, I was very young when I came up with it.
Wait, stop. Please stop!" - pumpkin
Past tense.
Sigh* That's not elk... That's just reindeer.
Sigh* Parenting is hard.
