Who drives?

The police officer

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What did the pirate say about the steering wheel in his pants?

Arrg, it's driving me nuts!

Who is driving the car?

The police.

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What did a police officer write in the criminal report, when they found a homey from the bottom of a lake, wrapped in 200 kg's of metal chains?

Offender stole more than he could carry by swimming

How many Police Officers does it take to push a black man down the stairs?

None. He 'fell'.