Who wins the election?

America.

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Who always wins the insect election?

The lesser of two weevils.

Why does Mitt Romney never win at Jenga?

Because he takes too much from the bottom and middle and gives it to the top.

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Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America?

On their feet!

What's the difference between a star and America?

The star has a bright future.

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What did Hillary say when she bumped into Donald after the election?

Pardon me

What do Polish Arctic researchers do at elections?

They have a polar pole poll.