Why can't you trust anything MATTER says?

Because it makes up everything.

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Trust Jokes More Trust Jokes

Why should you never trust advice from a group of gryphons?

Half of them are lyin'.

Why does the sun never set on the British Empire?

Because God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark!

Matter Jokes More Matter Jokes

How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they all turn them the the wrong way.

How many "friend zone" guys does it take to put in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter how many. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw. Edit: Credits to Drougen for making it better.