Why couldn't the lizard have any children?

It had a reptile dysfunction!

This joke may have profanity.

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What bounces and makes little children cry?

My donation check to Feed the Children!

What's the difference between refrigerator and a child?

Refrigerator doesn't have a 'd' in it.

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What did the lizard get at home depot?

Reptile.

Why couldn't the lizard be aroused?

He had a reptile dysfunction (I just made that up but I'm sure it's been thought of)

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Why was the snake soft?

He had reptile dysfunction.

Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction!