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Why did the Earth suddenly enter a manic episode then go back to a depressive episode?

Because it's bipolar.

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What's the fastest thing on earth?

An Arab riding a bicycle down Collins Avenue in Miami Beach.

What did earth say to the other planet?

You guys have no life!

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Why shouldn't you enter into a contract with Wolverine?

Because of his retractable clause.

Why did the former fitter turned baker enter the lottery?

To win dough.