Why doesn't Michael Jackson play chess?

Because he's dead.

This joke may have profanity.

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn't.

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None, it only takes Tolkiens

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Michael Jackson the third.

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Why can't America play chess?

They are missing 2 towers

Why is it so confusing to play chess with the British?

It's only check, mate