Why dont Calculus majors throw house parties?

Because you should never drink and derive.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why do you have to take two Baptists with you when you go fishing?

Because if you only take one, he'll drink all your beer.

What if she drinks too much, or gets high?

Me: You really aren't my kid are you

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

Why did the blonde girl get fired from the M&ampM factory?

She kept throwing away all the W's.

What the hell is this?

Turkey bacon. *throws tray against wall* I'm hungry! Not desperate!

Derive Jokes More Derive Jokes

Why wouldn't you hire bears from Australia?

Because they don't have the necessary koalafications. (Derived from: )

Why did the mathematician quit his job and join NASCAR?

They told him he was good at deriving