Why has the ex-NSA contractor not left his house?

He's snowed in.

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What's an empty suit of armor doing on the drivers side of a car?

He went out for the knight. OK I'll leave now

Why is Monica Lewinsky going to vote Republican this year?

Last time she tried Democrat it left a bad taste in her mouth.

House Jokes More House Jokes

What did the gang-banger say when two houses fell on him?

Get off me, homes.

How do I stay in shape?

I stole an ostrich, it chases me around the house all day, i hate it

Snow Jokes More Snow Jokes

How do you call playing games while it snows heavily?

Blizzard Entertainment.

What do you call a litter of puppies who've been out in the snow?

Slush Puppies