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Why was Luke Skywalker late?

He didn't run, ewok-ed.

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Why does Luke Skywalker never have trouble getting laid?

Because he always uses the force.

Why did Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia never get together?

Because Luke was looking for love in Alderaan places!!

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What did the lumberjack say to the trees?

Run, Forest, run!

Why did the chicken run into a well?

Because it didn't see that well.