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Why wasn't Jesus born in Washington DC?

They couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin

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What's the difference between Santa and Justin Beiber?

Santa stops at 3 Ho's

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

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Why did Jesus not go to Australia?

He couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

Why wasn't Jesus born in Puerto Rico?

He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

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Why wasn't Jesus born in Washington DC?

They couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin

Why couldn't the NSA whistleblower's plane leave Washington DC?

He was Edward Snowed-In.