Why wouldn't the snake go on the weighing maching?

Because he had his own scales!

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Snake Jokes More Snake Jokes

What sort of perfume do snakes prefer?

Poison by Christian Dior!

What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner?

Thank you I'll just have a slither.

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

Why did the scale decide that the scam artists were heavier than the novels?

Because the cons outweighed the prose.

Why can't the insecure fish sing well?

He's never comfortable in his own scales.