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How did the rednecks find their sister?

Pretty good.

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Why did the feminist get triggered?

The police found it easier than arresting her.

What did the mom say when she found out her son was going to be a evil spy?

Abort mission!

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When is the only time a white NFL wide receiver is a good thing?

When your sister tells you she's dating an NFL wide receiver.

Why did my sister go down to the fish market?

Oh just for the Halibut!