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How do you tell an astronaut where they're going?

Straight up.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if an American has a conceal carry permit?

They'll tell you.

What did the calculus teacher tell the crew of his submarine while they were diving?

Derive, derive, derive!

Astronaut Jokes More Astronaut Jokes

What part of the computer the astronaut likes the most?

A space bar.

Why don't astronauts keep their jobs very long?

Because as soon as they start they get fired.