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How do you tell an astronaut where they're going?

Straight up.

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Why do they say cleanliness is next to godliness?

Because every time i talk dirty to my wife she tells me to go to hell.

How did she tell them apart?

She looked at their last names...

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How does the astronaut cut his hair?

Eclipse

What kind of cell phone reception do astronauts get on the moon?

1/6 G My 8 year old son came up with this one.