How does a cougar obtain the perfect tan?

She uses a perfect son.

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How does Super Mario contact his dead brother?

Using a Luigi board!

What internet provider does Satan use in hell?

Comcast

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What do you call a Japanese Cougar with exceptional taste?

Umami

What did the Pope say when a cougar crossed his path?

Oh my gosh I almost Puma pants.

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How does a cougar obtain the perfect tan?

She uses a perfect son.

Why did the nurse always insist on using the rectal thermometer to obtain temperatures?

Because nurses are taught in nursing school to always look for her patient's best side.