How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they all turn them the the wrong way.

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Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side

How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby I'll check on that.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

Why did the faucet turn on?

It was feeling.

What's the similarity between Bruce Jenner and a Pharaoh?

At some point they turned into Mummys

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many communists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One guy to screw in the light bulb, and the other guy to shoot him if he doesn't do it right.

How many twists does a feminist need to screw in a light bulb?

None. They just grab it and the world to revolve around them.

Matter Jokes More Matter Jokes

Why are they using two ply toilet paper in Russia?

Because authorities want a carbon copy of all matters.

What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM?

It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care.

Australian Jokes More Australian Jokes

Why are Australians so well balanced?

They have a chip on both shoulders.

What's the worst thing about getting bitten by a poisonous spider?

You're probably Australian. EDIT: I mean venomous, not poisonous. I am sorry