How many house flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just the standard two, but I'll be damned if I know how they got in there.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know you've found Christopher Walken's house?

It has a recognizable gait

What's the difference between your finger and a hammer?

I don't know! Well you're not using my computer keyboard then!

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

What does it mean if you look down and see four balls instead of two?

Careful, you might be getting screwed.

How many factory farmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they would rather keep you in the dark!

Damn Jokes More Damn Jokes

What makes fish smell?

One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Eve, but couldn't find them. God saw Adam and asked where Eve was? Adam replied, "She's down at the Ocean, taking a bath." "Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell."

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad sky diver?

The bad golfer goes::Whack:: "Damn it!" The bad sky diver goes "Damn it!"::Whack::

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

We may never know the truth.

How many millenials does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one. They hold it in place while the world revolves around them.